So, you have to make a speech at your best mates wedding and the terror has already set in! Don’t despair; there are a few tried and tested rules that you need to follow to give entertaining and successful best man speeches.

Firstly, give yourself plenty of time to plan what you are going to say, rehearse well and, when the time comes this preparation will help you relax! Contrary to commonly held belief, being the best man is an honour, you wont die and it isnt a penance! There are however certain things you must say when giving best man speeches and an approximate order for saying them. As most weddings tend to be rather formal, it is hoped that the preceding speakers (the bride’s father and the groom) won’t steal your thunder.

It is the best man’s job to firstly thank the groom and the father of the bride for their speeches and then the guests for attending (acknowledge those who have travelled long distances). Then give a toast to both sets of parents and thank them on behalf of the bride and groom. Your next job is to toast the bride and groom and mention what you think of them as a couple before you start to delve into the grooms background to find that embarrassing story that he may wish you would forget!

Remember what it is that makes you smile about the story and put some real emotion into it. Talk about the groom, his character, his achievements and aspirations for the future before you go on to say a few words about the bride. You don’t have to go into much depth (the father does that), but don’t forget her! Talk about what you know of her and the effect she has had on the groom and perhaps what they can achieve together. Finally, toast the bride and groom and wish them well fortheir future life.

To expand, what do you say about the groom? I’m guessing if you have been asked to be the best man that you either grew up with the groom or know them extremely well. In all that time you are bound to have a few anecdotes up your sleeve, but do try not to make them so embarrassing or offensive that you alienate guests you don’t know – not everyone will have your sense of humour! It is also a good idea to avoid jokes about ex girlfriends as this could eventually cause bad feeling. Begin at the beginning if you like, child to adolescent to young adult and then perhaps go forward a bit and mention the patter of tiny feet and old age!

Best man speeches should be no more than 5 to 10 minutes as the guests although fed by this stage, will be starting to get fidgety. Expect to be nervous as 99% of people are. It may help if just before the speeches, you pop out of the reception for a minute to compose yourself. As daft as it sounds, try blowing raspberries through your lips as this will help relax your jaw! There is no need to look directly at peoples faces, look just above their heads and glance around the room occasionally. You are not necessarily expected to know your speech word-for-word so hang on to your notes as this will give you confidence.

So all you need to do now is write and rehearse your speech, keep calm and everything will go smoothly. If it doesn’t, just laugh at yourself and everyone will laugh with you and not at you.